My Flashy Bridesmaid Dress

Only three days until my brother's wedding!

I'm excited for many reasons. First, I love my brother and future sister-in-law, and can't wait for them to start this new journey together. Also, there will be lots of family and friends who are coming from out of town. And c'mon, who doesn't love a wedding?

The wedding also means that I get to wear the pretty, yellow, flow-y bridesmaid dress that I bought for the occasion. And my cute gold sandals and matching earrings.

The other day, I tried on everything - dress, accessories, shoes - because that is what EVERY woman does before a dressy event. Lo and behold, the dress didn't quite fit! I should have realized that, since I purchased the dress in March, and have since lost about ten more pounds. Oops. The top of the dress hangs loosely on my bust and shoulders. Luckily for me, the dress has fabric that crosses in the front, and ties. So if I tie the fabric suuuuuper tight, it can work. I am praying that we don't have a sister-of-the-groom-flashes-the-wedding-guests situation, you know?

Although I suppose that would make the celebration highly entertaining.

Chocolate Chip Cookies and Interracial Marriage

A recipe for messed up kids.

Just when I thought I was running out of material to write about, I received this comment on my (evidently controversial) post about soft chocolate chip cookies:

"EXCUSE ME, Mr. Marks, but I thought this was a food blog. Interracial marriages create nothing but heartache for any children conceived by such a union. DID you not read the media headlines today about the strife wrought by interracial marriages in America? Perhaps you two should stick to 'baking' cookies instead of 'making' interracial children."

Though the commenter's profile appears to be a ruse to get more website hits, I will still gladly address the comment. Because really, who could pass up this one?

First off, Commenter, I am a missus. Get that straight. Unless you're addressing my husband, who in fact does NOT claim to own a food blog. He certainly does not cook enough to warrant anything of the sort, and will gladly admit it.

Secondly, thanks for the warning about all the heartache and strife my future multiracial children are doomed to face. I'll begin setting aside therapy money pronto. But, wait...how do you explain Tiger Woods turning out okay?

Thirdly, if by your use of quotation marks you are insulting my "baking" skills, well then. Now I'm offended.

All joking aside, I have addressed some of my thoughts on interracial marriage here. And this recent comment (even if it was from someone with simply too much time and a penchant for instigating fights on people's blogs), reflects the disturbing reality of the fear, hatred and prejudice that still exist in our world today.

I want to dispel the notion that I think my marriage is fundamentally better than others simply because we're an interracial couple. Low and behold, Steve and I have many of the same issues, problems and dilemmas that any married couple experiences. Shocker, I know.

That said, I do believe that there are many interracial couples (and their families) who have walked a uniquely difficult road, and those people should be applauded. Because of my own experiences, I have a special place in my heart for interracial couples and their multiracial children. And I will continue to celebrate fellow interracial couples, such as Jon and Kate, Heidi Klum and Seal, and many of our real life couple friends (because we apparently run around in packs).

I will also continue to look forward to the day we have our own lovely multiracial children, who will hopefully be welcomed into a world that is a little more loving than it currently stands.

But until then, I guess I'll keep "baking" cookies.

I Dedicate This Blog to...

I am intrigued by authors' dedications. Whenever I pick up a book, I immediately turn a few pages, and find those few lines that sum up who the author deems worthy of honoring. It's such a beautiful, timeless way to thank and bless the person or people in one's life.

Though I don't have a book (maybe someday!), I do have this blog. I've been thinking about who was deserving of a dedication of this blog. Who would I thank? Who would I attribute this blog to? The answer came easily. There is one person in my life who has shaped me more than any other thus far. One person who really does embody the characteristics of this blog. So here is my dedication:

To my mother, Terry.
A woman of courage, humility, compassion,
and many other qualities of indefinable worth.

How about you? Who would you honor with a dedication?

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's officially the Year of the Rat.

According to the Chinese zodiac, this year is a time of hard work, activity and renewal. It's supposed to be a good year to begin a new job, get married, launch a product, or make a fresh start. That seems to bode well for my friends and family, since many are jumping on the marriage and baby trains this year. Whoowoo.

I really miss being at home with my family to celebrate Chinese New Year. After living in Hawaii for a few generations, much of the Chinese culture within our family has been lost, or evolved into more of a Chinese-Hawaiian-American blend of tradition. But Chinese New Year was always celebrated with pride and fervor. Probably because it revolves around the important things - family and food.

In my experience, no other holiday can beat Chinese New Year in its ability to overload the senses. In a wonderful way, mind you. There are the greasy smells of roast duck and sticky rice from the kitchen. The sounds of mah jong tiles being moved around the surface of the table. The rough texture of the red lai see envelopes filled with money that grandparents dispense to the grandchildren. The view of extended family and friends gathered together around the dinner table, celebrating each other and a new year to come.

Gung hay fat choy, everyone!

Merry Christmas from Lodi

I am currently blogging from Lodi, California. I'm not stuck here, however, if you were wondering (any Creedence fans out there?). We're here for the week with Steve's family.

Steve and I caught a cold a few days before Christmas, because as we all know, our bodies love to malfunction at the most perfect times. Nevertheless, we have had a wonderful time celebrating the holidays together. In true family fashion, there has been an abundance of games, presents and baked goods. And since this is Lodi, home of the best Old Vine Zinfandel, we're all going wine tasting today.

Being here for Christmas has reminded me of how grateful I am to have been graced with a wonderful in-law family. I love, love, love Steve's parents and siblings, and it's always a joy to spend time with them.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

The Chinese Art of Tea

"Popo's Teapot" - oil on canvas

In Chinese culture, tea plays a significant role. The preparation and serving of tea is a deep-rooted tradition that is often a metaphor for honor, respect, submission, gratitude, love and family. People make serious apologies by serving another tea as a sign of regret and humility. In the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony, the bride and groom serve their parents tea out of honor and gratitude. Families will gather to drink tea, and to pass down culture and tradition to the younger generation. Tea is ingrained in many important facets of Chinese heritage.

This past summer I visited my grandmother. One day as she was lamenting all of the clutter in her house that she was trying to sort through, she asked me if I wanted to have one of her teapots. Yes, yes I would, I said (sidenote: when a Chinese grandmother offers you something, you take it). The teapot that she delicately removed from a basket was beautiful. It was gold-plated porcelain, painted with intricate designs of dragons and clouds. It was used, but not worn...just well loved as evidenced by some small tea stains on the inside. "This was actually your great-grandmother's before she gave it to me," my grandmother said as she put it in my hands.

There was something profound for me in that moment. Growing up as a fourth generation Chinese in Hawaii, much of my family's original Chinese heritage has been forgotten. But as my grandmother handed me this teapot that had belonged first to my great-grandmother and then her, I felt a sense of connection to my family, and to previous generations of Chinese, all linked through culture and tradition and legacy. Thank you, Popo.

Give Your Momma Some Love

We're about to head to a camp in the mountains with our USC students for our annual summer retreat. And then it's vacation time!!! I love my job.

To make up for missing Mother's Day, I wanted to give a shout out to my wonderful, beautiful mothers (I have two now!), Terry and Debbie.

Moms Are the Best Because...

Moms prove that even with a bad perm and post-pregnancy body, a woman can be classy, hip and hot.

Moms teach you everything you need to know - how to share your toys, how to cook, and how to do aerobics in the livingroom when you can't afford a gym membership.

Moms do awesome things with you, like dress up with you for Halloween. And they let you wear whatever you want in the name of independence, including horrifyingly gigantic glasses.

Moms are the most loving, supportive, comforting people in the world, and remain that way even after you've grown up and moved out.

Happy Mother's Day, moms!!! I love you both!

Culture Shock Therapy

I am from the beach. From Spam and aloha.
I am from the Valley Isle, beautiful and serene.
I am from the plumeria, fragrant and velvety.
I'm from potlucks and dark skin.
From Aileen Fong and Wah Tim Lock.
I'm from the long conversations and livingroom games.
From "Don't waste food!"
And "You can do it when you're twenty-five."
I'm from followers of Jesus and Catholic roots.
I'm from Honolulu, Hawaii and rural China.
Plate lunches and saimin.
I am from only daughter, independent and compassionate.